Hair to dye for?

Another problem going into your 50s is your hair colour (we’ll talk more about style later on). Do you just let the grey come out or do you try to hide it? And if you go down the hiding it road does that go on forever or do you get to a point when you think “enough”? It’s a hard one. And it’s especially difficult if, like me, you’ve been dyeing your hair for decades. In fact my Dad once asked me if my eldest daughter was going to end up with hair the same colour as mine and I replied “I don’t know, I’ve got no idea what colour my hair is”. Nothing to be proud of, I know.

The problem has always been that I was born and continued to have white blonde hair until I got to about 7 or 8. It then turned into a rather alarming mousy colour. I realise mousy hair isn’t alarming to most people (exactly the opposite really) but it just wasn’t, and still isn’t, me, with or without the greying roots. As soon as I was old enough, and rich enough, I started dyeing my hair and 30+ years later a regular trip to the hairdressers is still part of my must-do list. I did try dyeing it myself but after a couple of unfortunate incidents with strange colours (ranging to a rather interesting shade of orange) I decided that I had to have it done professionally. Now I have six weekly visits, every other time she does touches up the roots and the big trip to have some highlights as well. I’m not fooling anyone (I know) but it makes me feel better.

Despite my commitment (mainly financial it has to be admitted) I have often toyed with the idea of getting rid of the colour. So what stops me? If I did it I would have to go for the complete look, I think that’s less ageing than grey roots slowly meandering down your hair as the colour grows out. I suppose it’s no different to the mouse thing really, it just doesn’t feel like me. I have to keep telling myself that in a few years, which will pass at breakneck speed, I shall be 60 but I think it’s that I still don’t really believe myself. I still think of myself as a blonde (albeit a bottle blonde) not a grey-haired old lady. Yes I know grey doesn’t necessarily mean old (I had a friend who went grey in her 30s so has never had this dilemma) but it would make me feel old and I suppose that’s what I am trying to avoid. I had a very good friend who sadly died three years ago aged nearly 80 and she had never stopped dyeing her hair. She was blonde until the last, all done over her kitchen sink for all her adult life. She was the life and soul etc and I couldn’t have imagined her ever being grey. Perhaps that’s how I see myself which means the dyeing will continue. At least for now.

Hair today… and it’s still there tomorrow

So, let me tell you a story. I wish it was a fairy story, make believe, but sadly this happened to me. A few years ago, maybe ten (I find it hard to remember exact dates that are more than a month ago), I was standing in the hall talking to my sister on the phone. This was in the old days when we weren’t cordless so we had to stand in one place to have a conversation (seems funny now, doesn’t it?). We were well into our chat when I rubbed my chin and to my horror discovered a hair that must have been at least 2” long growing. Luckily there was a mirror behind me and when I turned round I couldn’t believe that this monstrous thing was growing on my face, it must have been there for weeks and I had never noticed. I quickly finished the conversation and ran upstairs to find my tweezers. Thus began my continuing struggle with facial hair.

I am reasonably blonde so the hairs on my face aren’t too dark but catch them in the wrong light and I feel like I have a moustache and/or a beard. Luckily I have friends I could discuss this with and one of them (kindly I thought at the time) recommended a magnifying mirror to help keep facial hair at bay. The first time I used it I was overwhelmed, the magnification made my face looked like I was ready for a part as an extra in a Planet of the Apes film. Luckily after a lengthy period with my trusty tweezers I realised that looking at my face close up wasn’t the way most people saw me, not unless they had a magnifying glass or a set of binoculars with them, so just getting rid of the most obvious hairs was enough. But the magnifying mirror and tweezer combination has become a vital part of my daily beauty routine. I see older women who do have a lot of facial hair and I have made my daughter promise that she will keep it at bay when I am no longer able to do so. It probably seems a bit vacuous but it doesn’t help me feel better about myself. Some people might just ignore it, knowing most people probably won’t notice, but the issue is that I will notice and that doesn’t work for me. I suppose it could be the same as your attitude to underarm hair: some people don’t have a problem with it, but I don’t like it. I don’t like it on men either, before you call me sexist!

I know it’s all to do with changing hormones but it does seem like a bit of a sick joke at a time your face is changing and you have to adapt to that.